Loss and Life
July 10, 2013
By: Randi Fogelbaum
Losing a loved one is incredibly hard at any age. Losing a loved one at a young age can be heart wrenching. The average person grows up learning that we live a long life. With today’s medical advances we can live into our 90s. We learn we will all eventually die, but that happens much later on. When a loved one dies at a young age it is normal to think, “This is not fair,” and “This is not the way it is supposed to be.” It is normal to be angry and wonder why this person did not get to live their full life. Death at a young age does not flow with the natural progression of the life cycle. This is one of the many reasons it can be so difficult to accept and mourn the death of a loved one who is so young.
It is normal to feel sad, confused, angry, scared, shocked and numb. In fact, any feelings you have are normal. And, please remember, we all grieve in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to feel or to grieve. Your feelings might even be polar opposites and confusing to you. You need to take the time to feel your feelings and to grieve and mourn the loss of your loved one. You need to take advantage of the support you have around you, talk to those you feel comfortable talking to, give yourself time to sit with your feelings, give yourself time to cry. Again, the way you feel is normal. It takes time to mourn the loss of a loved one.
Losing a loved one can also bring up the reality that if this happened to someone I know, it can happen to anyone, including me. You might feel sad you lost your friend or family member, but you might also feel afraid of the uncertainties of the future. Not knowing what the future has in store for us is pretty scary. Living with uncertainty is one of the hardest things humans have to do. It is so important to try to live life in the moment and enjoy and cherish what we have today because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Tell your loved ones how much you love them; enjoy your friends and family. Don’t worry about the small stuff because in the end it is not important. And, if you continue to find yourself having a difficult time, don’t be afraid to seek help. There are professionals who are available to provide you with support and guidance.
“Mending The Torn Fabric” by Sarah Brabant is a great book for those of you who like to read.
