Supporting Your Young Adult With Cancer

February 18, 2013
By: Sandy Lipkus

As a parent, nothing can be more devastating than hearing that your child has been diagnosed with a life threatening illness. This is not in the order of how things should be! Watching your child weaken as s/he undergoes surgery, chemotherapy, or radiotherapy can be distressing to say the least. It is not easy supporting your child while you yourself are also in need of support. Here are some ways in which you can help both your child and yourself as you go through this journey together:

· Try to understand their behavior from their perspective – try to put yourself in their shoes.
· Encourage them to participate in their care and treatments.
· Give them the space they need.
· Help them to find the support networks that are available to them (family, friends, community).
· If they have children, offer child-care, meal preparation, or transportation assistance. Help their children to keep their lives as normal and routine as possible. Assist with schoolwork and extracurricular activities.
· Investigate online support and connect with other young adults.
· Encourage self-care and exercise.
· If you live out of town, make an effort to be with your child either on the weekends or for their appointments or treatments. If this is not possible, arrange for other family or friends to participate.

Caregiving for and supporting your child with cancer can be challenging physically, emotionally, and financially. Responsibilities may include help with day-to-day activities, identifying resources, coordinating care and services, companionship during health care appointments, emotional and spiritual support, and more. Time, conversation, listening, kindness, and love are among the most valued forms of care. Many caregivers put their own feelings and needs aside as they focus on the person with cancer. Remember that in order to help others, you must first help yourself. Below are a few self-care tips for caregivers:

· Find an outlet to express your emotions: talk with others, attend a support group, seek professional support.
· Self-care: nurture yourself. As difficult as it might seem, try and tend to your own needs.
· Prioritize your time and energy. Focus on what is most important.
· Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
· Meditation, exercise, and deep breathing are ways that you can step out of the moments of stress, anger, or feelings of hopelessness.