Respect your balls
September 26, 2012
By: Thomas Cantley
Even if you choose to donate sperm, there should be more respect involved, more than having bad porn put in your hand. Moreover, when you need a sperm sample for your testicular cancer treatment, shouldn’t there be a different level of respect? Like some medical procedure that harvests the sample? After the creepy, depressing lair in which I was forced to masturbate, I would gladly take putting on a gown, setting my legs in stirrups, having a paper tarp over my legs and have the professionals do the rest.
I was raised Catholic and they tell you masturbation is a sin. That didn’t stop me, but I got to thinking – what if I really believed that? What would I do? I mean you don’t have to get vaccinated if it goes against your religious beliefs. Some religions don’t even allow blood transfusions. How would they submit a sperm sample? I hope they wouldn’t go to through the embarrassment I did. Walking into the place, you instantly feel like you’ve done something wrong. Plastic covered couches are never a good sign. It’s like they expect semen to just be flim flammin all over the place. Semen on the walls, semen on the ceiling… I’m surprised they didn’t make everyone wear a disposable poncho, just in case of a big splash. I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. I put condoms on my hands and did a hand stand. But really, I think it’s a shame.
It’s also part of men feeling comfortable about their own bodies. Strangely, we are more comfortable than women because we aren’t objectified in the same way. I mean I can show my nipples and not expect all eyes to lock onto them and have sexual fantasies. We pee with our penises in plain view of strangers every day. However, when it comes to being aware of medical stuff, women are way more comfortable. Maybe because women’s bodies are already so objectified, so much more medicalized, they are more aware of potential problems. Women have to go a gynecologist as soon as they start having sex. Men only go to the urologist if something is really wrong. Where is the male pap smear? We have to drop our pants and cough? Cervical cancer even has a vaccine.
If my sperm donation was any clue, we are pretty uncomfortable and in the dark with the entire issue of men’s reproductive health. I hope this blog post at least helps to shed light on some of that. In addition, I’d like men to know that this could happen to them, but more importantly, that it doesn’t have to. If I hadn’t waited so long, I might not have had to go through surgery and chemo. Check your balls. Have your girlfriends check for you. Make it a game! Women are taught to check their breasts; shouldn’t men be shown how to check for lumps? What does a normal testicle feel like? What does an abnormal one feel like? All I knew before getting cancer was to protect them from any aggressive contact. Apart from that, we treat our balls with little respect. Respect your balls. It might just save your life.
Thomas would like to extend a special thanks to Jackie Lasorda.
Check out his website at www.ballsycancersociety.org
