advanced cancer retreat
January 21, 2014
By: Samantha Wexler
Recently I was at the first ever retreat for people with advanced cancer hosted by CancerFightClub Montreal, and it was amazing to see how we all just cut through the always tentative “getting to know you” stuff. It was as if we had all known each other for years. I believe that this openness makes our relationships with each other that much deeper and more genuine from the beginning. As we are all dealing with something significant in our own ways, we understand that sometimes people need to talk and just be heard. This type of retreat had never taken place before, it was only when there was an expressed need for this type of event that people took notice and made it happen.
There were several workshops on palliative care and what it really means, which to my surprise is not necessarily end of life care, but rather pain management and other related issues. There were also some serious talks about how to talk to children about cancer. The nice part was that all of the weekend workshops were elective, so if someone was not interested or ready for a particular topic they did not have to attend. More importantly it was a safe place for people who wanted to talk about and share their feelings about death and end of life issues. The subject was demystified to become an open topic where people could feel comfortable and safe expressing their feelings, and the facilitators made this happen in a dignified and respectable way.
There were also some more fun activities that added levity to the seriousness of the workshops. We were lucky enough to be able to bring a caregiver with us, since support is important for caregivers as well. They need to feel that they are not all alone in this journey and that there are people who are in situations similar to the ones they are in. I brought my husband who is also my best friend, and peanut butter to my nutella. I wanted so much for him to get away from the city, and for one small moment to leave responsibilities behind and let loose and meet other people that he could connect with. It is important for me to know that my love is also being supported, especially when scary things happen, because I have a significant history of internal bleeding (a rare symptom of the type of tumours that I have) which leads to semi-frequent hospital visits and overnight stays. It is important that we all have a safe place to talk about our thoughts and fears, and just generally to be heard.
People with stage IV or advanced cancer are the ones that seemingly have the most to lose, and we are the ones that are currently making the most waves because we need to know that we are supported and that we are not all alone and forgotten about. We are the ones that are creating our own groups and expressing the need for retreats and get-togethers, a need that is being heard all through the cancer community. And when you think about it, it is pretty amazing that people with stage IV or advanced cancer are the pioneers of such events and support groups. I am really glad that I attended this retreat and look forward to future retreats.
