Etiquette
July 17, 2013
By: Bernadette Leno
You go out, you meet people. You become friends on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Instagram, etc. Everywhere you look, every social media platform you’re on, there YOU are. I’ve struggled with certain aspects of social media pre-diagnosis, but post-diagnosis issues seem that much more complicated.
You meet people; you connect with some and not quite connect with others – but you all have/had cancer – so you’re friends, right? You need to connect on every single social media platform, right?
What is the social media etiquette for cancer? Hey, I saw you at a function; we were introduced but didn’t really talk but let’s be friends everywhere! Really? I just don’t understand it.
But then things get cliquey, like worse than high school hallway cliquey. Then again, I need to remember that this is a young adult community, so maybe it is some twisted version of high school where everyone is affected by cancer in one way or another. And for me, being closer to the older side of the spectrum than the younger, I can’t help but sit back, laugh and shake my head.
Don’t get me wrong, connecting with other young adults is extremely important and I wouldn’t change any of it. I have made some amazing lifelong friendships and I’ve made acquaintances. I am thankful for them all. There are people across the country that I will move heaven and earth to see, and others who, of course, it is nice to see at a function, but I’m not going to rearrange my life or travel plan to see them. Is that harsh? Nah, it is just a reality. Well, my reality at least.
So, when is it okay to unfriend or unfollow? Is it okay to ignore the request from the beginning so this awkward question never needs to be answered?
Of course I care and want to know that people are okay etc., but I’m getting to the point where I don’t feel that every corner of my life has to revolve around cancer. And yes, I know this thought is hilarious coming from me, especially as I sit at the office writing this. Contrary to popular belief, all of my work is not cancer related.
I want people to be friends with me because I’m Bernadette. I’m silly, funny, passionate, artsy, smart, stubborn but also dark and twisted. Do you like Star Wars? Great. Into Dexter? Wonderful. Like silly cat videos, DIY jewellery and film photography? You may have just stolen my heart. I rant. I rave. I’m fiery. I don’t want people to be friends with me because they see me as Bernadette the cancer patient, fighter, survivor or thriver. That may be what puts us in the same room, but I don’t want that to be what keeps us together.
