Making Friends
January 28, 2014
By: Russell Willer
I have been in correspondence with a guy who is almost finished his treatment for Hodgkin’s. He reached out to me when he was diagnosed because he once saw me do a speech for the U of T Med School about the importance of collaborating charity and medical work for our future. He sat there, thinking… “What if this happened to me at such a young age? How would I react?” This young man was devastated to hear his news of cancer diagnosis, but never once has he thought he was not going to make it through. He completed 6 months of chemo, and is now in his final stretch. I respect this guy so much and wanted to share our latest correspondence with you.
Email from him November 12th:
Hey man,
Sorry for not getting back earlier. Been a bit stressed lately. Lots of work at school, not to mention that today I start radiation. Honestly I’m really nervous. I know u don’t feel anything, but because of potential long-term side effects.
Before my options were chemo, or death. Now that I’ve beat it, this is more of a “make sure it never comes back” treatment, which makes it a lot harder to deal with. I think I can speak for both of us when I say I never want this to come back, but I REALLY don’t want some other cancer because of treatment. What’s your take? What did your doctor say, if you don’t mind sharing, when you went through this process of radiation after?
It’s just such an unsettling feeling…
Email return from me November 12th:
Why did we get cancer in the first place? Do you think we deserved it? Did we do anything to bring it on? Karma?
When it comes down to it, I don’t know the answers and neither do our docs. All we really know are historical numbers and where we fit into the larger story. You are getting radiation because they are playing the numbers game, and it is the smartest and most successful game to play…
For me, it’s all quite abstract. I go with my own rationale that is based on feeling and intuition. I feel as though if I put my trust in the people who chopped my cancer’s head off, I would trust the same people to finish the job. Cancer came to kill you, and they stepped in, killing that bastard first. Everything we do in life is scary and can bring back a memory of when the doc first told us we had cancer. Emissions, alcohol, smoke, food, electronic devices, stress, lack of exercise… those are things that can cause other cancers in our greater population, not to mention the innumerable things that could end our lives in a heartbeat.
We are human and are subject to unexplainable powers now and forever. As much as science can tell us, there are glaring unknowns. Whatever you believe in, put positive energy into your life… Maybe it will make a difference in your physical health, but ultimately, it’s about how you choose to live today. With so much up in the air, just control what you can my man. When that radiation was hitting me, I put intention into it. I said over and over again in my head: go get it. Get it all… I even tried to open my chest up more so they could get a clear shot. When it comes down to it, whether that helps towards my future or not, I at least tried my hardest to conduct my life with dignity and purpose.
This is a choice. Your choice. Whatever you choose has to feel right in the way YOU live your life. If it comes back or another cancer comes along, at least you did all you could (in my eyes…) to finish off the cancer that has affected your life greatly, and did it with intention in the moment. You don’t know about the future, but today… you have the chance to put the nail on the coffin of the assassin that came to kill you.
In my humble opinion, I say go get ‘em. Do it. Feel no remorse for the f%$#er. Then don’t look back.
Much love,
Russell
